gotta seek you, serenity.

for the past months of this year, my brain has been cramped. or should i say 'clogged'. with pretty much stuff, such as ideas, informations, memories, plans and to do's. i kept on reminding my self to jot them all down, but i didn't. these are half of the reasons of the lackness of my concentration in anything. strength of my memories fell drastically. these were then worsen by the stuffs that were taking place almost at the same freaking time. during seeds, i know that i would've performed much better. but my minds were and are still scrambled. tangled. my driving test was terrible. lucky that i passed. AS exams were too, giving almost untolerable pressure. i know i'm not gonna score my maths and physics. and i would be lucky even just to get E's on my EAS and Psycho papers. new school almost made me cazy. new friends, new environment. my adaption of my new school's environment was the number one reason why my acedemics are destroyed. PRS and Adventure, they gave me extra headaches. the worst part was, you. i'm/was on the edge of breakdown when college's life started. while other guys seek for new companion, i'm/ was still tangled up with you. i pretended that nothing ever happened, when you were around. but the second you were out of sight, that small smile of mine instantly faded. do you know how exhausting that is? to forget you, i need to not see you. but if i avoid you, i hurt you. and that would hurt me by twenty fold.


so you see, i've been strong for far too long. can i now sit down and cry? i miss you.